Things Just Happen
by LeaO'Neill
Summary: Nicole battles demons from the past.


THINGS HAPPEN

By Lea O'Neill

Rating: R

Category: Drama/Angst/Romance

Season: any

Pairing: Jack/other

Summary: Nicole faces old demons  
  
Disclaimer:  
(All SG-1 characters are property of their creators and respective networks, Gekko film corp., etc. No copyright infringement intended. No similarity to persons, real or fictional intended)

Chapter One –Sometimes Things Just Happen  
  
Nicole Walker had been injured many times in her life. She had gone through many trials to become the Special Operations Training Director of NORAD and SGC inside Chyenne Mountain. In Desert Storm, she had survived the crash of her F-14 Tomcat, which just in that day she'd taken well over Mach 2; then she'd survived being alone in the desert for three days, finally being rescued by a tank crew.  
  
Later the same year, she'd been in a CH-53 Stallion Helicopter that was shot out of the sky over Iraq. It was in this crash that she'd received head injuries that had badly damaged her optical nerves bad enough to ground her from flying, as her vision, when it had returned had barely been 20/100. And there was no guarantee that her vision wouldn't progressively worsen. No more screaming through the sky at Mach 2 is what that meant.  
  
In 2001, she'd been on a training assignment in the Pentagon when it was targeted by terrorists and hit by the 747. She had been lucky to escape with her life, but had also sustained severe internal injuries that left her unable to have children as well as a severe break in her leg.  
  
Yes, she had seen pain. And it was something she dealt with many days since. Unfortunately, many times she had to turn to drugs to relive that pain. Lately it had been getting worse. There were many nights when she was unable to sleep unless she was medicated. She had prescriptions for narcotics like Demerol, Lortab, and Percocet. Nicole, on her last physical at SGC, had told Janet Frasier she had no pain medication and Janet too had written her a new script for a narcotic. Nicole herself was afraid it was getting out of hand, but what else was there to do? Suffer. That was about all.  
  
It wasn't until Jack started to worry that Nicole realized she had to do something.  
  
It started one night when Nicole, who was sleeping at Jack's, had a severe bout of back pain. The Tylenol Jack kept in his bathroom had done little to relive it. Nicole had left Jack sleeping and scoured his bathroom and kitchen for anything stronger. There was nothing. She found only an empty bottle of Percocet in her purse.  
  
Cussing, and throwing her purse to spill on the living room floor, she finally washed down 8 Tylenol with half a bottle of Crown Royal. Before passing out on the kitchen floor.  
  
Jack awoke about an hour later. Finding the bed empty, he got up and groggily made his way to the living room. He noticed Nicole's purse on the floor, the contents scattered about. He saw the empty bottle.  
  
Coming more awake, Jack went to the kitchen, where his heart almost stopped as he found her unconscious body on the tile floor.  
  
Jack slid down beside her, checking her pulse. It was strong and her breathing was okay. He saw the Tylenol bottle open beside the liquor bottle. He had no idea what combination of pills she'd taken.  
"Nicki!" he yelled, shaking her. She was unresponsive. He finally resorted to slapping her; the only time he'd ever laid a hand to a woman. But this was not in anger; it was in fear that he was loosing her.  
  
She moaned and lifted her head a bit. He finally got her to open her eyes.  
  
"Let me sleep," she said, her speech slurred.  
  
Jack carried her limp body back to the bedroom and laid her on her side, in case she vomited. Then he sat up the rest of the night in a chair by the bed watching her, making sure she was breathing.  
  
Around nine in the morning, good thing for them it was a weekend, Nicki finally woke up. She tried to get her bearings, and noticed Jack, glaring at her from the chair.  
  
"What?" she asked, having no memory of the incident the night before.  
  
"You know I find killing myself slowly is preferable to going quick. Call me silly, but I guess I kinda like my life the way it is right now."  
  
"What are you talking about Jack?"  
  
He held up the bottles. "I'm talking about washing down pills with half a bottle of whiskey. Not necessarily painless, but sure quick and efficient."  
  
"Jees, Jack, I'm not trying to kill myself. I just needed to stop the pain. I can handle it. I've been doing it for years."  
  
"Sleeping on the floor 'cause you can't make it to the bed? Scaring someone that love you so bad he nearly goes right along side you from heart failure? Great way to live," he told her with anger mixed with his sarcasm.  
  
She got out of bed and stormed to the bathroom. Of course she knew he was right. She felt embarrassed and hurt, and also a little scared. She knew it had been this bad before. But she'd always pushed away anyone who got close enough to her to find out.  
  
She washed her face and was drying it on a towel when she looked up to find Jack in the doorway.  
  
"I care, okay?" he said quietly.  
  
She nodded. "I know."  
  
"How bad is it?"  
  
"The pain or the pills?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Nicki shrugged. "The pain comes and goes. There are times when it's real bad. Like last night. During the day, when I'm moving, it's not usually a problem. The pills, well, they're not daily. Maybe three, maybe four times a week."  
  
Jack knew how hard it was for her to admit that there might be more to it. "And how many times has something like this happened?"  
  
"Three, I think."  
  
"You were alone?"  
  
"After the first time. He saw what I was becoming and he left." Tears fell from her eyes and caught in her long eyelashes before sliding down her cheeks. "Walked away like all the rest. Like you're going to do."  
  
Jack pulled her close to him. "I got news for you, I'm not going anywhere." He felt her emotional pain almost as deep as if it were in him as well. He'd fought his battles. This was hers. The only difference would be that she would not be alone.

* * *

Sam Carter was working in her lab, absorbing herself in her work while the team was not on a mission. It kept her from thinking.  
  
Jack found her there. He knew he would. He knew something had been bothering her for some time. He was determined to get to the bottom of it. He was initially looking for Janet Fraiser, but not finding her, with so much grating on his mind, he sought out Sam. If he couldn't deal with the problem at home, he could at least deal with the one in his team.  
"Carter," he said, coming in the lab.  
  
"Sir," she greeted, putting away some small tools.  
  
"Carter, you know I'm not one who beats around the bush, so I'll get right to it. We haven't talked much lately, but I know that something's bothering you. Don't you think it'll be easier if you just come out and tell me instead of all this cloak and dagger secrecy?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied, averting her eyes and coloring slightly.  
  
"Carter," he scolded in that tone of voice he used when he needed to get her attention.  
  
"Sir, really it's nothing you can help me with."  
  
"How do you know unless you try?"  
  
Sam was exasperated. "Because it's you, sir!"  
  
Jack raised his eyebrows. He hadn't seen that coming. "Okay. Did I do something to upset you? Piss you off? What?"  
  
"Sir, it's really none of my business…"  
  
"Carter, we can't have a strong team with as much pent up hostility as you obviously have, apparently for me. So spill it."  
  
She sighed. He'd sunk his teeth in and wasn't about to let go until she'd talked.  
  
"It's about Major Walker," she told him, absently fiddling with some washers on the workbench.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Sir, I can understand that you're involved with her, but…well, sir, this is really hard to say…"  
  
"Just say it Carter."  
  
"I just think you can do…….. well, better."  
  
Jack tried not to become defensive. He valued Carter's opinions and he would hear her out, no matter what.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but that's the way I see it. I heard some of the pilots talking…I know it's just gossip, but they were talking about El Toro, and apparently she had quite a reputation there…and there was some scandal in Washington, right before 9/11."  
  
"There's always a scandal in Washington. As for El Toro, that was a long time ago," he told Carter. "I know all about her 'reputation'; she's told me some. Carter, I'm not naive, and I have been around the block a few times myself. We were young, we were hotshot pilots, and we did some things we might have lived to regret later. Men and women. Things happen. We can't change them just because we get older and realize how stupid we were back then. And I appreciate your concern, I really do. But Sam," he used her proper name for a change. "Did it ever dawn on you that I might not want to do better? I'm happy. And that's something that's been a long time coming."  
  
Carter thought about his words. She slowly nodded. "I understand sir. It's just my opinion, like I said. I support any decisions you make."  
  
He shrugged. "Things just happen Carter. This happened to me. I didn't plan it. I hope you can understand that."  
  
"I understand sir."  
  
He turned to go. He gave her a brief smile. "Well, glad we got that out in the open. For a minute there, I thought you were going to profess your undying love or something." He chuckled. "I'll see you later."

He walked into the hallway. What a terriffic week this was starting out as, he sighed. First everything with Nicole, and now his 2IC was up in arms about the relationship, for reasons he could only even begin to guess at and was afraid to try and think too hard about.  
  
Carter looked after him. "If only you knew," she whispered.

* * *

Chapter Two

What Happens When a Jack Talks to a General

If it was so wrong, why did it feel so right? There was no place Jack O'Neill could have imagined himself more comfortable then in Nicki's arms. He knew he was technically her superior whether she was NORAD staff or not. He knew she was his responsibility if they went in an off-world mission. Dammit to hell, he knew it all. But he also knew she had awakened something inside him he'd thought long dead. And it was getting too powerful to be ignored. And then she'd said it.  
One night, as they sat, she between his legs, her back resting on his chest, in the backyard, staring at the stars. She could name many of them. He'd been to many of them. His arms draped comfortably over hers. His hands rested on her knees. He could smell the cherry scent of her hair.  
  
"I'm falling in love with you," she said out of the blue, breaking the quiet of the night. The only other sounds were that of the chirping crickets.  
  
Jack squeezed her arms. He swallowed hard.  
  
"I'm sorry Jack, but that's just the way it is. If it weren't meant to be, then it would have been. Things happen."  
  
"Nicki…" he'd turned her head to his face. He kissed her soft lips. He wanted so badly to say the words to her. He wanted her to hear them. But he couldn't. He could only hope she could hear through his actions.  
  
He kissed her. He held her. They returned to the house. They made love for hours in her bed.  
  
In the early hours before dawn, wrapped in the tangled sheets, her hair a tousled cascade of blonde and auburn waves, she draped his body with hers. He knew she was more asleep then awake.  
"I love you Nicki," he whispered. He didn't know if she heard. Hoped that her subconscious had.  
  
No, Jack O'Neill had never thought he'd be given another chance at love. And then she was there. He told her about Sara. He told her about Charlie. Nicole listened to him like no one ever had. She touched something so deep in him, he wasn't sure that anyone ever had. Every feeling he'd ever had was buried so deeply, it took the tenderness and unquestioning love that Nicki showed him to unearth them. And now, it was too late. There was no turning back.  
  
Jack knew that Carter, Teal'c and Jackson had suspected something was up, and he'd finally admitted it to them, that the rumors they'd heard were true. But there was someone he still hadn't told.  
  
O'Neill headed to Hammond's office.  
  
He rapped at the door.  
  
"Come," he heard Hammond respond.  
  
Jack entered.  
  
"Morning Colonel." The general greeted. "You're early. Debriefing isn't until 0930."  
  
"General. I need to talk to you," Jack said, a serious tone and expression on his face.  
  
"Of course. Is there a problem?"  
  
"Well, not a problem per-se," Jack said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his fatigue pants. "Just something I need to let you in on. It might or might not pertain to the SG program." Jack was all business.  
  
"Good Lord Jack, what's going on?" Hammond was concerned. O'Neill was not usually this serious this early in the morning.  
"General, I don't know if you're on the rumor mailing list around here, but there's a good one going around. It involves me and Major Walker, the NORAD training director."  
  
"Jack, I know who Major Walker is."  
  
"Well, then you ought to know that she and I are involved in a personal relationship."  
  
Hammond raised his eyebrows. He cleared his throat. "Well, actually, that one didn't make it to my desk." Although he wouldn't admit it to Jack either, he had been quite aware of the relationship. Obviously Jack was expecting some sort of official speech though, since he'd come here to out and out confesss.  
  
"I'm not sure if there are any policy violations here, because she's NORAD staff, not SGC. But if there is, well, dammit sir, I'm more than willing to take the consequences."  
  
Hammond nodded. "Jack, can we cut the military protocol for a few minutes?"  
  
Jack nodded and sat down.  
  
"Now you know as well as I do why the SGC has the policy in place. It's for everyone's own good. Especially during off world missions. Now, I know that Major Walker has accompanied you on several missions. Was this…relationship ongoing at the time?"  
  
O'Neill shook his head. "No. She hasn't been on my team since…we started seeing each other."  
  
"Are general personnel aware of this relationship?"  
  
Again, Jack shook his head. "I really don't know, don't care that much. My team knows."  
  
Hammond weighed the things Jack told him. He knew he had several options to consider.  
  
"Jack, you're a valuable part of this operation. Maybe one of the most valuable. I won't lose you. Major Walker has done a fine job and I am happy to have her on board to help with our training. I don't see why there should be disciplinary action on either of you. She is assigned to NORAD. But I am going to have to restrict Major Walker from your team. She won't accompany any further missions with SG-1."  
  
O'Neill nodded. "Thank you sir."  
  
"Jack, off the record, although I can't approve fraternization in any capacity, I can comment that you're really looking good these days. Whatever you're doing in your free time, I think it's been good for you. I certainly don't want work to interfere with that."  
  
Jack smiled. Hammond had a way of approving his disapproval.  
  
"And Jack, good luck."  
  
He left the general's office a little more upbeat.  
  
Jack made his way up to NORAD after briefing. He knew he was due to leave with his team later in the day. He didn't know when he was coming back. He was used to it, but lately, it became more difficult. Now there was someone else to think about. And he was worried about leaving her.  
  
Major Nicole Walker had just finished a class, 'Policy Revisions'. If that was not the height of boredom, he didn't know what was. He could tolerate her 'Tactical Air Strategies'; her 'Homeland Defense' was even on the interesting side. But when she started in on policies, histories, and politics, Jack could start snoring right then.  
  
He gave her a smile, as she collected her papers at the desk inside the large classroom on the ground level. A class of 20 or so NORAD and SGC staff, officers and non-coms had just filed out, some still yawning.  
  
"Looks like you really wowed 'em," he said with a cocky half grin, striding into the room.  
Nicole, in her navy blue fatigues, looked up and gave him a weary smile. She took off her reading glasses, which she'd taken to needing lately, but was highly embarrassed of, especially in front of Jack.  
  
"Hey you," she greeted.  
  
Jack though she looked tired.  
  
"Hiya."  
  
"What brings you up from the mole hole?" That was what most NORAD staff, who occupied the ground level of Cheyenne Mountain, called the SGC, who were levels below ground.  
"Well, there's this real cute teacher, wish I'd had her in like tenth grade. She's got these hot legs and a great ass… She's up here somewhere, and I thought I'd ask her to lunch."  
  
Nicki had to laugh. "You're impossible Jack."  
  
They walked together back to her office.  
"So I talked to General Hammond," he told her.  
"Yeah?"  
  
He nodded. "He pretty much said everything but 'congratulations.'"  
  
Nicole was glad. She knew Jack had been worried. He valued the General's opinion almost more than anyone's.  
  
"So, now that just leaves me one thing to worry about."  
  
They went inside the office.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"You."  
  
She put her materials away. "Jack, we've been through this." He nodded. "Yeah. And we didn't resolve it."  
  
"I'll be fine. If you want me to stop, I'll stop."  
  
"I don't think it's that easy. And I'm going to be gone. Maybe for a while. I don't want to be wondering if I have any one to come back home to."  
  
Nicki always got irritated when the subject came up. "What do you want me to do Jack?"  
  
"I want to talk to Janet."  
  
Nicki sat down in her chair. "I thought we decided not to get anyone else involved in this."  
  
"If anyone came help you, she can. Please, I can't leave if I have to wonder."  
  
Nicki knew she must really love him. She had never done anything for a man that she didn't want to do. And she was now preparing to do just that.

* * *

Chapter Three:

Breaking Old Chains  
  
Janet arranged quarters for Nicki. She knew her though her friend said she would have no problems doing without her daily painkiller, Dr Fraiser had seen otherwise. She wanted Nicki close for observation.  
  
She told General Hammond a small fib: that Nicki was helping her out with some testing for the next few days. Nicki had rearranged her NORAD training schedule as well, and informed her CO of the same thing.

The first evening wasn't bad, even pleasantry for the two friends. They drank tea in Nicki's quarters, played chess, and talked about old times. Janet left Nicole to sleep around eleven pm.  
  
"Sorry about the lock down," Janet said again as she prepared to leave. She was having Nicole's door secured 'for her own good.' Nicole, who believed she had nothing to worry about, just smiled. She didn't mind having her door locked until the am. She had all she needed in her quarters.  
  
"It's okay Janet."  
  
"If you need anything, just hit the com."  
  
"I will. Really, it'll be fine."  
  
And it was. Until about four am. Nicki woke up with excruciating back pain. She lay in bed first trying to wish it away; when that didn't work, she got up and stretched, using the exercises Janet had showed her. When this too failed, that was when the first bout of anxiety hit her.  
  
It was okay though, she told herself. She'd get over it. She was not addicted to pills. She would prove that to Janet and Jack. She could do without.  
  
She decided not to even try to go back to sleep, but instead try and get some work done.  
  
Nicole attempted to work on her new course she was developing The Role of Pilots in Homeland Defense. For all of 20 minutes she was able to concentrate on the texts in front of her. Then her mind wandered. Her back ached, sending ribbons of pain through both legs as well.  
  
She moved to the computer and logged on. She checked her e-mail, then played solitaire.  
  
She got up again a few moments later. She retrieved a Lemon Diet Coke from the galley area. She suddenly realized she had an overwhelming urge for a cigarette, although she hadn't touched one in years.  
  
She went back to the computer and was finally able to find an on line word game that caught her interest enough to distract her for a time.  
  
Okay, she finally had to admit. Maybe she had come to rely on the pills to take away her pain more then she realized. But still, she knew she would be fine.  
  
The next evening, Nicki was full of pent up energy. She went to the gym and kick boxed the heavy bag until she felt like she couldn't move. That was what she wanted. She wanted to become tired enough that she would sleep through the night.  
  
A hot bath with the lavender oil Janet had brought her helped relax her now screaming muscles.  
  
She took the Niacin and Lysine and B vitamins like she was supposed to, then clicked off the light and tried to sleep. She tossed and turned restlessly for at least an hour before falling into a fitful sleep. And then the nightmares came.  
Somewhere in her subconscious, Nicki remembered that not only did the medication dull her physical pain; it also eased the emotional trauma she refused to deal with over the years.  
  
…. The war torn battlefield in the dark of night, the skies lit up like day time with the tracer rounds and fire from explosions….the radar screen glowing green in the cockpit of her F 15 as she launched the sidewinder missiles….the helicopter crash that left her nearly paralyzed and partially blinded….her crew dead, dying in her arms, bodies bloody, burned…..the soldiers she was helpless to save, wounded, riddled with bullets or shrapnel; the screaming and crying in the shambles of one side of the Pentagon; the trapped feeling of being pinned under debris, not knowing if anyone was looking for her, or would find her……  
  
Nicki woke up, sweat running down her chest, her camisole top clinging to her. She was breathing hard and felt her pulse race.  
She flung off the covers and hit the light switch. Every muscle in her back and legs screamed. She at last gave in to the pain and the torment her mind caused. She lay on the bed and sobbed for what seemed like hours.  
  
When Janet came to Nicole's quarters in the morning to get her for breakfast and check her vital signs, she was shocked at the sight of her friend. Nicki was pale with dark circles under her eyes. She was sitting on the floor by the bed, a deck of cards in her hands, a solitaire hand laid out on the deck.  
Janet went to her. "Rough night?" Nicki nodded. "How long did you sleep?"  
  
"Maybe two hours."

"You want me to have breakfast sent up?"

"With a pot of coffee." Janet called the mess hall.

That done, she returned to Nicole. "I'd like to get some lab work on you."

"Maybe later," Nicki said, continuing to toss down cards. Janet noticed how badly her hands trembled.  
  
"Do you want me to call Dr McKenzie?"

"I don't need a goddamn shrink Janet," Nicki said impatiently. "I need something to help with the knives that are stabbing me in the back."  
  
Janet knew Nicki's lashing tongue was due to the withdrawals. "Well, if you change your mind, let me know. Will you come down to the infirmary later?"  
  
Nicki nodded.  
Janet left as Nicole's breakfast and coffee arrived.  
  
"Jack you rotten bastard," Nicki cussed as she paced the length of her room. Jack was of course light years away. But Nicki didn't care. She hoped on some ESP level he was getting her anger.  
"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here." Hot salty tears came to her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. "You son of a bitch! Why do you have to care so much? I was fine without you." She knew that for the lie it was even as it rolled off her tongue. She felt like she was splitting into two halves: the good Nicki and the evil Nicole.  
  
"Good Nicki" knew that she hadn't been fine. She'd been a few prescriptions short of being a junkie; a few men short of being a slut; and a few reprimands short of being dishonorably discharged. Good Nicki knew that Jack had saved her from her own hands of self-destruction.  
  
" Evil Nicole" said 'lies, all lies'. You can handle your pills, your booze; those men didn't use you, you used them; everything you've done has been for a better good; Jack is tying us down. We need to be free, doing whatever we want to.  
  
She wasn't sure weather the nausea was caused by the pain or vise versa, but by afternoon, Nicki could do little more than lie on the bed and pray for the bouts of stomach upset to subside. She had eaten hardly any of her breakfast, drinking coffee instead, and no lunch, drinking her Diet Coke. She had begun to think after this was over; they'd have to put her in a caffeine abuse treatment program.  
She finally gave in and hit the intercom button.  
  
"Yes Nicki?" Janet Frasier's voice came over the little speaker.  
  
"Janet, I can hardly move. Got anything for nausea down there?"  
  
"I'll bring you something," Janet promised. She had watched her friend go through pain, anxiety, tremors, and now nausea. She hoped it was about over.  
  
Janet went to Nicole's quarters with some Vistaril for her nausea and anxiety. Nicki still looked awful. Janet noticed her lunch hadn't been touched.  
  
She took Nicki's blood pressure, temperature, and pulse.  
  
Nicki gratefully swallowed the pills Janet gave her.  
  
"I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you're doing good," the doctor told her.  
"You're right. It doesn't feel like it. If I could just get some sleep."  
  
"Well, along with settling your stomach, those pills might make you sleepy enough to do just that."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
And Janet was right. After about twenty minutes, Nicki's breathing slowed and became even. Her heavy eyelids closed and she finally slept. Nightmares didn't penetrate her deep sleep this time. The one dream she did have, and remember, was of her and Jack, walking hand in hand beside a crystalline lake with blue skies above.  
  
When Nicki awoke again, to the now familiar throb of her aching lower back, she glanced at the time: 10:22. A.M. Either time had moved backward or she had slept almost 17 hours straight.  
  
She slowly got out of bed and stretched. She noticed how the pain had become something of a bothersome ache, not the stabbing searing sensation she'd first had. She knew that was due to her senses having been dulled so long by the narcotics. When there was no more of the synthetic stabilizer, her nerve endings had immediately responded, telling her brain that the sensations were worse than they actually were.  
  
She managed to dress, somewhat shaky. She knew her blood sugar must have been bottoming out, not having eaten in over 32 hours. In a tee shirt and fatigue pants, she felt a little like her old self, the one who'd been gone a long time.  
  
She combed her hair into a ponytail and applied some foundation to cover the light shadows that still remained under her eyes.  
Janet came in shortly.  
"Well, you look better," she said with a smile. "I was beginning to think you would still be out next week."  
  
Nicki returned the smile, her eyes clearer.  
  
"I told you, all I really needed was a good sleep."  
  
Janet took her vital signs again, noting how much better Nicki's blood pressure and temperature were.  
  
"So you think the worst is over?" Nicki asked hopefully as they walked together to the cafeteria.  
  
"I think that's a safe estimate. But it's not a short-lived battle. This is something you'll be dealing with for a long time."

Nicki nodded. "I think I know that now."

"But you're not alone," Janet assured her.  
  
"I know that too."  
  
Nicki stayed for another three days in her quarters in the mountain. Although she had made progress, she wasn't sure how she would handle being at home. Alone. Janet was glad she was waiting until SG-1 returned. Nicki had given Janet her house keys and on the fourth evening, Janet went to Nicki's home and found all her friend's supply of pain pills. Janet emptied each and every bottle into the toilet, flushing away hundreds of dollars of narcotics. After making a thorough search, Janet was satisfied she'd gotten it all.

* * *

Chapter Four:

Many Happy Returns  
  
Nicki awoke in the early morning before dawn. She heard the Ford truck pull into the drive. She had been waiting for Jack since last night, knowing he'd be late. Or early in the morning as the case were.  
  
She heard Jack let himself in to his front door with his key. Key deposited on the hall table. Jacket tossed onto the couch. Boots come off and park by his chair. He needs no light. He is used to the floor plan of his own home. There is dim illumination from the full moon outside showing through the windows.  
  
He comes down the hall to the bedroom. The floorboards give away his silent footsteps, creaking under his weight. Bedroom door opens wider. Nicki knows he's peering in to see if he's awakened her. She remains still.  
  
He comes in and there is more soft rustling as the rest of his clothes are removed. Soft clinking of his dog tags as he slips his tee shirt off and the material rushes past. Onto the floor. Next fatigue pants make it into the pile. A muted thump. He's left his wallet in the pocket again. She wonders if his BVD's left with the pants, or if he's too tired to want her, he'll have left them on.  
  
The covers move slightly and Jack O'Neill slides into the bed. He lets out an involuntary sigh. Nothing much could feel as good as this bed… except…  
  
He rolls toward the woman whose body heat has warmed the bed. What a delight to slip into the warm comfort rather than the cold, emptiness that's been his bed's only companion for so long.  
Nicki rolls into his waiting arms. "Hiya," she says sleepily.  
  
"Hey there." It is their consistent greeting. The words change owners time to time, but they are always the same. It is a comfortable familiarity between lovers.  
  
Jack runs a calloused hand over Nicki's smooth cheek in the moonlight. "Missed you."  
  
She presses his palm to her mouth and kisses it.  
  
Nicki uses no words to communicate, fearing the quavering that will surely be in her voice will give away the tears of happiness she doesn't want to shed in front of him. Instead, she tilts her face up to his and their lips meet.  
  
Jack takes possession of those soft full lips. She opens them to give him full access to the deepest recesses of her mouth. He uses one hand to draw her closer to him and she feels the instant reaction he has had to her presence as his hardness presses into her belly. Jack grabs the hem of her cotton camisole gown and lifts it easily, quickly, over her head. Nicki offers her bare skin to his.  
Jack's mouth makes an immediate quest for her breasts.  
"Missed these too," he murmurs.  
  
Their need for each other has been unsatisfied for far too long. The only way to quench the burning desire is with more fire.  
  
Their passion is fast and wild; Jack filled her and she fulfilled him in a mutual need. Racing each other, they sought release, neither very far from it with just the presence of the other so close.  
  
When that release came, it washed over them; Jack felt as though a dam had broken, not just for him, but for Nicki as well, as he emptied himself inside her. They had been without each other for too long for it to be more than aching need brought to incredible heights, and finally the long awaited shattering finale.  
  
He lifts himself slightly above her, to look down into her wide green eyes. They are both slightly breathless. She looks up into his brown eyes with sated pleasure. He doesn't want to break the connection between their bodies. He knows that next time they will share slow, consuming lovemaking, now that their initial needs have been met.  
"I missed you a little," she says with a hint of laughter.  
  
Jack kisses that saucy mouth. He reluctantly leaves her, but only briefly. Nicki rolls onto her side, into the crook of his arm and rests her head on his shoulder.

Jack sipped a cup of coffee, clad only in pajama bottoms, in the kitchen as the rising sun casts red-orange light into the room. Nicki sits opposite him at the table in just his tee shirt. She is eating a bowl of beans from the crock-pot she made yesterday. They are covered with cheese.  
  
Jack swears if it were covered with cheese, Nicki would probably eat a shoe.  
  
He watches with slight awe as she cleans the bowl with a tortilla and washes down the whole mix with Diet Coke.  
"You sure you don't want any?" she asks then, her appetite for food now sated as well.  
Jack shook his head. "Beans for breakfast? I don't think I'm that hard core anymore."  
  
Nicki laughed.  
  
"So," he began. "How are you?" He knew that she and Janet had been busy while he was gone. He had already gotten a report from Dr Fraiser, after much goading. But he wanted to hear it from Nicole.  
He looked into her eyes, which were clear and bright again.  
  
"I'm…" she searched for words. "I'm really good."  
  
He smiled, nodding. He knew that.  
  
"She's got me on this vitamin regimen, and I started with the acupuncture guy in town. I'm your basic healthy pin cushion."  
  
Jack raised an eyebrow.  
  
Nicki shrugged. "Look, Jack, I'm not going to lie to you. This was a lot harder than I imagined it was going to be. I guess I've bee lying to myself as long as I have to anyone else who asked. I just…never had anyone who cared enough to see through those lies. I'm off Jack. And I going to stay off."  
  
Jack believed this determined woman, who seemed to be able to accomplish anything she set her mind to.  
  
"Well, just don't forget. I'm here to help you."  
  
Nicki stood and put her arms lovingly around his neck and shoulders from behind.  
  
"I'm never going to forget," she assured him, whispering close to his ear.  
  
Jack kissed her wrist.  
  
"Have I told you how crazy in love I am with you?"  
  
Nicki kissed his ear in return. "Not once this morning."  
  
With that, Jack stood up and swept Nicki up into his arms before she had a chance to say a word.  
She laughed.  
"Well then by damn, I think I'd better show you."  
  
And with that, Colonel O'Neill carried the woman he loved back to bed.  
  
FIN 


End file.
